Did you send your TPS Report?
If you have seen the movie Office Space, you now have a series of images running through your head. Coming from one of the most quotable movies (right up there with Caddyshack), the mention of a TPS Report, a red stapler, or working on a Saturday makes you think of Office Space.
Why?
Because in great comedy fashion, it overexaggerates real life struggles. In the case of Office Space, it amplifies everything about working in an office environment to a level approaching absurdity, but it is truly relatable for anyone who has ever worked in an office. It really is a modern comedy classic.
Last week, Elon Musk stated that everyone working for the Federal government was going to need to send in a five-bullet summary of what they accomplished in the past week. It was described as a five minute or less task.
Evidently, it is the apocalypse, nuclear war, and the rapture all rolled into one based on people’s reactions. Seriously, people are talking about LAWSUITS over this. Over a five-minute task. It’s an email.
It is also NOTHING new.
I was in the Army for a LONG time and even back into the 1990s, every organization I was ever in was required to submit a weekly SITREP (Situation Report) of some kind. Every commander out there requires their subordinates to submit something to summarize the previous week. Then that commander takes their five or six subordinate reports and pulls the highlights, adds some additional information, and submits it to THEIR boss. That boss is doing the same thing, and the reports work themselves up the chain.
Every organization had their own Standard Operating Procedure on what information was required, in what format, and on what submission timeline. Some were extremely elaborate. Some were in an email. Some were in a document format attached to an email. Some were a phone call (VERY RARE). But EVERYONE has been doing it for the last thirty years. Combat, training, peacetime. Every week.
And NONE of them were a five-minute task in a five-bullet format.
Why did we do this? Lots of reasons. It gave a boss who was managing a lot of things the ability to see what you did and didn’t do. It also gave you a vehicle to show off the successes of your organization and highlight your subordinates who did a great job. Smart bosses used it to help write evaluations when the time came. Tuck those reports away and you have everything you need come eval time. Great bosses used it to show YOU off to their boss and highlight YOUR performance. The BEST bosses used them to figure out a way to HELP YOU and your organization.
By the way, the task is NOT for an elaborate SITREP like the ones I filled out and submitted for over 25 years. Five bullets. Five minutes or less.
So, why all the exasperation?
Well, there are a couple of reasons. First (and most ridiculous) is simply because it came from Elon Musk. “He’s not my boss,” is the phrase I’ve heard so many times. Spineless reason, really. Second, because who don’t want to, or like to, use email are being forced to. Yes, all you work from home people will have to log in and send your email on a Friday afternoon instead of shutting down early like you’ve been doing for years under the previous administration. Lastly, because it holds people accountable, and they don’t like it. Only the people who have been f&cking off for the last few years and NOT doing their job are worried about being held accountable.
Newsflash: The days of no accountability are over.
You have a job to do. You’re being paid with taxpayer dollars. You have an obligation to let the taxpayer know what their money is getting them.
And if you can’t come up with five bullets to describe what you did in the last week, and do it in five minutes, you and/or your position probably need to be eliminated. Seriously.
So, you’ll excuse me if I think all the pushback is bull$hit.
Have you noticed that SECDEF and Department of Defense have already said “We’re not doing that”? Do you know why? Because they are ALREADY DOING IT. And they are exceeding the VERY low standard of five bullets. They are not going to lower their standard to five bullets. And good for them.
For everyone else… Get on board. Get over yourself. Take the five minutes. Send in the five bullets.
Don’t let them come asking “Did you send in your TPS Report?”