The Kids are the “Why”

I spent the last five months as a permanent substitute teacher in a Kindergarten through 12th grade school.  It was enlightening to say the least.  I showed up every day and had the opportunity to sit in every grade and every subject in the school.  I taught, I graded assignments, I worked in the cafeteria and the library, participated in assemblies, had the opportunity to mentor some of the kids who sought it out, and even doled out some discipline when necessary.  I had a great experience, for the most part, especially interacting with the kids.  There are a lot of great ones out there. 

What I learned most, through personal experience and some research while I was working, is the divide between parents and teachers isn’t as wide as the media makes it out to be.  However, like many things in America right now, there are both teachers and parents on the far ends of the spectrum that make things difficult for the vast majority in the middle.

I am not claiming to be an expert by any means.  I am not a trained educator.  I am a parent of two kids who’ve turned out pretty well.  I gained some perspective while teaching.  Below are my thoughts on what WE collectively need to do, both as parents and teachers, to ensure THE CHILDREN get the best educational experience possible.  I know this will rub some people the wrong way, but I’m used to that.  So, buckle up.

Parents:

You owe the school a disciplined and well-behaved child.  It only takes one child to completely disrupt a classroom.  That directly impacts the teacher’s ability to teach and the other students’ ability to learn.  I understand even good kids will occasionally misbehave in school.  Almost all of them do at some point or another.  When the school doles out discipline, be the honest broker. 

If your child screws up, back up the school when they give a punishment.  We used to be scared as hell to come home and tell our parents we got in trouble at school.  That doesn’t seem to be the case anymore.  I know of specific cases where out of school suspensions were given and parents used that time out of school to take their child to the movies, or McDonald’s, or even the beach.  That is NOT supporting the school and their discipline system.

Be involved in your child’s schoolwork.  Almost every school has gone digital, and all assignments, tests, and grades are instantly accessible online.  You should know how your child is doing and get involved when grades are poor.  By the way, that doesn’t mean you call and yell at the teacher or send a nasty email.  Civil discussion to ensure the child is learning is the goal.  Starting a firefight is not the way to do that.

Be involved with your schoolboard and what is going on in the school.  Know what is in the curriculum.  It’s your child.  You’re paying taxes that fund the school.  You should not only know what is going on, but if you care about your tax dollars, you are obligated to know what they are being obligated to.  If you have questions or concerns, ask the teacher first.  Don’t wait until the schoolboard meeting to launch into a tirade.  You owe the teacher and the school an opportunity to explain what they are teaching, how, and why.

Make sure your child is set up for success to follow the school rules.  Make sure they plug in their digital devices at night.  DON’T text them during school when you KNOW they aren’t allowed on their phones.  Make sure they have the right supplies and the right clothes for school.  It’s nice if you can buy them really expensive shoes, but if they don’t have pencils for class, you need to fix that. 

Probably the biggest thing is ensuring teachers get PAID what they are worth.  Too many teachers quit teaching because the pay doesn’t match the effort required.  If you want the best teachers for your children, make sure they get paid.  Vote to make sure this happens.  I know this gets sticky with tax dollars, teachers unions, and other issues, but there is a solution out there in YOUR school district.  Figure out what it is and support it.

Teachers:

If you want to be trusted then you need to police yourselves.  This did NOT happen at the school I worked at, but there are plenty of studies out there saying 1 out of 10 students is sexually abused or assaulted by a school employee by the age of 18.  It happened at the high school I attended.  I know this as fact, especially since one of my former coaches/teachers was convicted and sentenced to about 30 years in prison.  There were other examples of teachers marrying former students WAY too close to graduation to be coincidence.  Keep in mind, all employees pass background checks to ensure they do not have a history of this kind of thing when they are hired.  This is something that develops AT SCHOOL.  If you want to be trusted by parents to educate their children, this kind of thing CANNOT happen at school. 

Communicate with parents about everything involving their children.  Unless the student is accusing their parents of criminal abuse (in which case you need to call the police), you need to keep parents informed.  Teacher union representatives have said, over and over, that schools are not childcare centers and teachers are not babysitters.  I agree 100%.  The children that attend the school have parents.  The parents need to parent the children.  Yes, I am talking about kids and sexuality.  Parents have a right to know what is going on with their child and it shouldn’t be hidden from them, especially since almost all those kids are minors.  Again, this is about trust between parents and teachers.  If parents feel like things are being hidden from them, they will NOT trust the teachers and then they WILL dig into every bit of curriculum and school operations.

Provide ALL kids a healthy learning environment.  Don’t make exceptions for kids if they are keeping others from learning.  It’s not fair to the kids who are trying.  If there are kids who can’t handle being in a classroom, then they need to be out of it and learning somewhere that is healthy for them.  I understand schools are hamstrung by state and federal laws at times but hold parents accountable for their child’s behavior.  Thirty kids shouldn’t fall behind because one is making it impossible to learn. 

Give kids the grades they earned.  Kids need to understand life has deadlines and job performance has standards.  They need to be given structure and held to that on a regular basis.  Allowing kids to go a whole semester not turning in assignments and then suddenly making it all up at the end isn’t setting them up for success later in life.

Understand there are plenty of educated parents out there.  Many of us hold higher degrees than the teachers, and sometimes in the same field of study.  Being a teacher does not give you exclusivity on education.  In fact, some parents are or were teachers at various levels.  This isn’t a blanket statement on all teachers, because I know every single teacher out there knows a teacher in their school that shouldn’t be teaching, but just because you have a certificate doesn’t mean you’re a good teacher. 

Leave your personal views at the door.  Teachers need to be professional enough to leave their own politics, religion, or beliefs at the door.  Outside of school, do whatever you want.  I don’t care.  But leave your personal beliefs OUTSIDE the classroom and teach objectively.

You are not there to be friends with the kids. You are not their “bro” or “dude” or anything else they think is OK to call you. You are the adult in the room. You are the teacher and they are the student. That is how it is supposed to be. When that line gets blurry, dangerous things can happen. And, by the way, other kids see it as favoritism and that can prevent learning. Hold them all to the same standard. I was labeled “Mr. No Fun” by some middle schoolers because I kept them in line. I happily accepted that moniker.

Again, these are my observations and my thoughts on what I’ve seen from both sides of the problem.  We, all the grown-ups in the room, need to remember the CHILDREN and their education is the focus.  The last thing I will say is that there should NOT be opposition between teachers and parents.  There may be disagreement in the “how” but there should NEVER be disagreement in the “why”.

The Kids are the “Why”.